WASHINGTON, DC – Americans have gone “full crazy” into betting whether Senator Bernie Sanders will once again wear his world-famous mittens at Donald Trump’s second inauguration” on Monday January 22.
While the concept of a “second inauguration” has many scratching their heads, the mitten debate has become a national obsession, overshadowing everything from actual politics to the weather forecast.
Online sportsbooks report unprecedented action, with some offering odds as specific as the mitten color (“Classic Brown Patterned: -200, New Funky Design: +400”) and whether Sanders will pair them with a parka.
“The mitten craze is heating up!” said one betting site CEO. “People are even placing side bets on whether he’ll be holding a thermos of tea or coffee. It’s chaos, and I love it.”
Meanwhile, Bernie himself remains tight-lipped. When asked by reporters if he would wear the mittens, he simply said, “I am once again asking you to focus on something that matters.”
Still, fans aren’t convinced, with one enthusiast tweeting, “If Bernie doesn’t wear those mittens, this country might finally fall apart.”
As the big day approaches, Americans are bracing themselves – not for political drama, but for the most highly anticipated mitten moment of the decade.
* Image: picryl.com