WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump announced this morning that he has rescinded his decision to appoint the Easter Bunny as his new vice-president in the office. The reason? The Bunny “stubbornly refused” to wear a suit, citing “fur ventilation needs” and “personal brand consistency.”
“I like loyalty, I like style,” Trump told reporters “I asked, ‘Bunny, why don\t you wear the suit?’ Everyone loves a good suit.’ But he hops in with a pastel vest and nothing else – very disrespectful. He looked like he was going to an April garden party, not the White House. Sad!”
With the Bunny hopping off into the sunset (reportedly muttering something about “preserving the sanctity of spring”), Trump confirmed that the position would be returned to JD Vance.
“JD has always been ready. Always in a suit. Sometimes even in a suit at the gym. That’s commitment. That’s vice president material,” Trump said proudly.
Vance, who was seen moments later buttoning his blazer with the gravity of a man preparing for both a debate and a wedding at the same time, graciously accepted the reappointment.
“While I may not lay colorful eggs,” he said, “I do promise to hatch bold ideas.”
The Easter Bunny was unavailable for comment, though sources close to him say he’s “considering a third-party run… or maybe just hiding in someone’s backyard until this all blows over.”
* Image: X.com